Staying Positive & Happy
January 19, 2016
Life isn't always easy- sometimes a deep breathe is all you need.
I have had quite the past few years- ups and downs, even sideways name it all I probably faced it. Many many boy problems as I am sure we all do face, the stress of moving house and loosing it again, loosing friends- and certain family members walking out on myself and others.
I had a low dip over the past few years- very low perhaps. Some days were easier than others, and some days I would barely manage to get out of bed.
I remember thinking to myself- this is enough. I needed something to change. So I did. I can't say I'm genuinely happy in every aspect of life, because life changes and you lose and gain things; but not everything you loose is a loss. I can say I am more positive however, and when any bad situation happens I always try find the bright side of the situation. What's the point in going through pain, to learn no lesson at the end of it?
After many attempts of expecting others to save me from where I was, I learnt, it wasn't them I needed- I needed to save myself. I picked myself up gradually, one day at a time. Life throws you down, and I am still picking myself up. I can't tell you the rule to be happy or positive in life, but these are a few steps I did which sure as heck let me take a few steps forward.
I had a low dip over the past few years- very low perhaps. Some days were easier than others, and some days I would barely manage to get out of bed.
I remember thinking to myself- this is enough. I needed something to change. So I did. I can't say I'm genuinely happy in every aspect of life, because life changes and you lose and gain things; but not everything you loose is a loss. I can say I am more positive however, and when any bad situation happens I always try find the bright side of the situation. What's the point in going through pain, to learn no lesson at the end of it?
After many attempts of expecting others to save me from where I was, I learnt, it wasn't them I needed- I needed to save myself. I picked myself up gradually, one day at a time. Life throws you down, and I am still picking myself up. I can't tell you the rule to be happy or positive in life, but these are a few steps I did which sure as heck let me take a few steps forward.
The people around you
Back a few years, you could say I had a lot of friends, people from school, college and work. Many of them, I wouldn't call 'friends'. I guess the only reason I was friends with some people was because I saw them 5 days a week. Facing some problems, I never had a selection of friends to turn to realistically. Obviously being a teen is the age where you try and find yourself. I was doing different make up, hair styles, different styles and clothing, anything to just change things up a little bit. I grew up much quicker than others around me- I guess we kind of clashed there. I felt embarrassed to be me around others, I was too scared to wear a certain shade of lipstick because my own friends will laugh at me for it. I couldn't dress the way I wanted because all my friends were still wearing their fluffy unicorn tops and I would be laughed at for dressing maturer. I guess what I am trying to say, is never allow yourself to be surrounded by people who do not except YOU. People who make you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, sad, down, anyone who makes you feel any less than what you are. I excepted this treatment of my 'friends' because I thought this was okay- it isn't. If I want to wear healed boots, imma wear 'em. If I want to put some dark red lipstick on, imma slap it on. If I wanna dress myself stylish- who cares I'm gunna do what I'm gunna do.
Do not let the people around you influence who you are!
Find your happy place
So I only recently done this, but I think it helped me so much.. so hey, why not share?! I always found when times got hard- really hard- my mind often spun into a complete different universe. Over-thinking, worrying, feeling tired, not caring, feeling down, loosing interest in things, genuinely feeling rather sunken. I found it hard to get on with day to day activities like my job, college or general socialisation with friends and family. Even if you have nothing 'major' going on in life, sometimes things get too much for us all. I found that finding somewhere to go can be uplifting and yet beautiful. I visited my local woods, sat on a bench and just watched. No phones, no people, just sat. I guess at times you are so blinded by the hard and ugly things in life, you really do ignore the beauty. I sat on this bench for around 30 minutes. I cancelled all thoughts and worries in my head and just focused on what's around me. Trees- tall thin trees towering above myself and little critters of the woodland, making everything seem minuscule. There were rows and rows of beautiful plants, a variety of different shapes, colours, textures.. I just stared and soaked it all up like I was absorbing nature itself. Many squirrels came shuffling by, one step closer.. one step back, suddenly now these beautiful creatures were just sat right at my feet, I could feel their breath. On occasion, the bright sunlight would begin to peak through the cracks of the tall trees- begging to be let through. I realised here- life isn't ugly, life isn't sad or bad, it isn't awful and it definitely shouldn't be taken for granted. Because truthfully- life is great. Bad things happen, like really some things are truly sh*t, bt that doesn't make life as whole a negative thing. After spending time here, I felt more in control. I felt like every little thing I was worried about, lost sleep over or cried about.. really was not that big of a deal. Things get too much for everyone, after all we are only humans. Sometimes, a little time away makes us really appreciate what we have when we go back.
New interests/hobbies
So I found that many of the things I was doing a few years ago, was not really me. I did things because my friends were, not because I wanted to do it. I didn't usually have hobbies, I often found myself too tired or down to get out and do something. I never had the 'omft' in me to go and do something, to be something. I used to right daily diary entries, I used to right stories and letters and basically a blog on paper. I decided I'd give a blog a crack, and although its a struggle as many of us know, it is a fantastic outlet to the modern world. I find setting my daily problems and issues aside and just writing about something I love and enjoy brought back the colour to my face. Blogging isn't for everyone, but I do suggest some sort of hobby or interest as an outlet helps- alot! Anything from horse riding, writing stories, drawing, walking dogs, making jewellery, craft things, getting fit/healthy, literally anything. Something with a lot of passion, because finding something you love and focusing on it really really helps to push aside everything you hate and everything that drags you down. Once you focus on going up, you loose sight of the things that try to bring you down.
Set goals
I tried to make things go from very not okay, to being okay in one big step- I tell you now it does not work. I hated not being okay and I was determined to see life in a new light and be positive, but sometimes baby steps are much better than leaping. I started setting goals for myself, things like going out for the day with the girls once a week or so, doing things I wanted to do but never could or would never allow myself to do. I set goals for things like keeping positive for a whole day, keeping busy and keeping negative thoughts away for at least a day. I just made small goals, reachable goals. And slowly but surely, things started getting easier. Life is never going to be easy- that's the beauty of it. But it doesn't mean you should live your life in fear of it going wrong. Things always get easier in the end, if it hasn't- then it isn't the end.
"The best thing about the future, is it comes one day at a time"
3 comments
This is a lovely, uplifting post, dear! I find it hard not to let life get the best of me at times, and I'm not particularly happy with where I am right now. Having said that, I still try to be happy with what I have. I agree with you, hobbies and interests are definietly a good thing to have, they can be a much needed distraction! x
ReplyDeleteKay
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Very nice and inspiring post! I love your blog and how joyful it is and inspiring! Have a great weekend. xx http://www.bauchlefashion.com
ReplyDeleteThis is a really lovely post! I could relate to it in a lot of ways and sometimes it can be tough when things aren't working out. I completely agree with your tips, especially going outside and just taking a break :)
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